My Guide To BlogHer
**If you are not going to BlogHer, or do not care about BlogHer, or think us ladybloggers are nutso, this is probably not the post for you. Go look at this instead.***
Dear Baby Jesus, the interwebs blew up this week with BlogHer hubbub. It was like the announcement of the Voices of the Year was some kind of signal for everyone to start freaking out about the conference all at once.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m stoked. I’m pumped. I can’t wait.
Great things happen at BlogHer. At its heart, the BlogHer conference is about celebrating the writing of women and the community that surrounds those women. And that’s why I go. I have always been a writer and I will always be a writer; it’s something I do for myself because I love it. The internet allows women writers from all over the world to engage with and support each other. It’s a little like college: no matter who you were in high school, you can find your niche. You just have to look hard enough. And I’ve been fortunate enough to make several real life friends across many niches from my experiences blogging.
However, not everyone goes to BlogHer for the same reasons. For many women, blogging is a business, and a business in which they’ve done well. There’s even a whole separate part of BlogHer specifically about business and blogging. And BlogHer could not happen without sponsorship of various brands and businesses; they keep costs low for us ladybums. But sometimes the commercial aspect gets downright ugly.
My biggest issue this week was when private party invites started going out. At BlogHer, there are several parties hosted by BlogHer or sanctioned by BlogHer. These are all open-invites; anyone can RSVP. Sparklecorn, MamaPop’s party (and the bestest party, duh, unicorn cake) is one of those parties. There are also private parties, sponsored by groups of bloggers or brands, that are held offsite. These parties are generally invite-only. Many sponsored parties offer free stuff, often really great free stuff. Hence, people think they can act like raving lunatics to get into invite-only parties. Then maybe elbow a baby to make sure they don’t get a free pair of Crocs.
Listen, last year I didn’t go to a single private party. At all. And I came home with a lot of free stuff and had such a blast with my friends. I’m not going to lie and act like I didn’t get invites to private parties this year; I did, mostly because of my work with MamaPop. And I’ll go to the ones that my friends will be going to. But, truth be told, I didn’t get a single private invite until this week and I’d still be just as excited about BlogHer if that were still the case. There are so many events open to everyone, and there’s so much going on, that there’s no way anyone couldn’t jam-pack their weekend full of fun without every setting foot in a private party.
But here’s the thing: Twitter was going nuts in the past two days with women begging, literally BEGGING, to be invited to parties. Pure, shameless begging. Many women who got invites immediately bragged about it on Twitter using every hashtag they possibly could to let the world know how important they are.And it drove me insane. Because people are more concerned with how cool they look or what free shit they might miss out on that they miss the point of the entire conference: to talk about and learn more about blogging and connect with other bloggers. I don’t even think I can go to everything because so many parties are at the same time. I’m not going to spend the limited time I have with friends from other places trying to party hop so that I don’t miss out on the bestest, shiniest swag. To do so is utterly missing the point of the entire conference.
I get that SO many women view their blog as their “brand” and their brand as their business. And that networking opportunities are important for business. But damn, ladies. Don’t you know that begging isn’t how you do business? Begging is NOT PROFESSIONAL. These sponsors invite people to parties because it’s business for them, too. And if you are a niche blogger outside their niche, why would they invite you? Where’s the return on investment? The women that are ravenous for free shit will write anything for free, and they fuck up the business side for people who, you know, actually sell their content FOR MONEY, not a free jump drive and a badge for their blog.
I’m sure I’ll see some people without home training acting foolish to get a Bounce dryer bar or some branded panties. And it will annoy me. Because those women should probably get out of scamming in the expo hall and start attending sessions on the craft of writing. I know that maybe if I softened my edge and quit cursing so much and talking about vaginas and dog farts that maybe I’d be more marketable to advertisers or however people make money off blogs. But that’s not me, or my voice, or my intent. And if it is yours, that’s fine, too! There’s nothing wrong with monetizing. But to think that you are owed monetization, or some sponsor owes you ad money, or swag, or special swag, or SERIOUSLY not very special swag, just because you figured out how to use WordPress, well, that’s just plain wrong. I love free stuff. I love free samples. And I love free booze. But I can have some business acumen, or, at the very least, some basic manners when it comes to how I conduct myself at conferences like BlogHer.
Focus on the content. Focus on the community. Focus on creating genuine relationships, and the rest will follow, and if it doesn’t, you still win. The means are still just as good, if not better, than the ends.
Also, wear comfortable shoes.
Tags: BlogHer
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 3:02 pm)
This will be my first BlogHer. I saw all the craziness about begging for party invites and I must say I don’t get it. Does begging actually work I wonder? It seems unseemly to me. See you there!
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 3:19 pm)
i.want.to.lick.you.
and yes, i just said that out loud.
thank you for saying so eloquently (and with all the words i might use myself) exactly what i’ve been trying to say for a really long time about this conference and the enigma of the private parties.
i plan to find you and give you a high five. i promise i’ll be wearing clothes.
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 3:20 pm)
Don’t knock the Bounce dryer bar. I’d cut a bitch for one this year since I am nearly in need of refills.
In seriousness, you are right. This is my first BlogHer with private invites, but I managed to survive 4 previous ones with none. Dare I say it, I had so much fun at those BlogHers.
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 3:22 pm)
Great post!
I am the creator of http://www.BlogConferenceNewbie.com. Would love to post a link to this in a post next week if that is okay?
Thanks!
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 3:28 pm)
Indeed! I’m as much a fan of parties as the next gal, but they pale in comparison to every single opportunity you’ll get to sit down and have a simple conversation with another blogger.
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 3:55 pm)
Let the games begin! As someone who watched all the dramz go down last year from my desk, I was interested to see how things pan out this year. I am going and it will be my first time. Naturally I am excited and tweet a little much but I try not to go crazy. I am SO looking forward to the parties I made it in for and while it’s tempting to try and jam everything in I agree with you. I am going to connect with bloggers AND brands. Balance is key. That said, I can’t WAIT for #sparklecorn #ZOMGunicorns and #glitterati. See you in 2 weeks!
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 6:41 pm)
I had a few close calls almost meeting you via @sustainablog, but it looks like I’ll finally meet you tomorrow via @JSpaghetti! I know not this BlogHer business but I’m local, female and write. And I love beer. Among other things. See you soon!
(On July 23rd, 2010 at 11:20 pm)
you forgot to mention the need for a sweater. HOtels in NYC truly seem to want to ice you out into the street.
Congrats on your nomination. I love your approach to the whole thing. I know one party i am going to and that is b/c i want to bring my parents to it. Can you spell “cool”? Otherwise, I honestly don’t care. You are right. Just do what is what for you as a writer, that is the most important thing, oh and like I said, wear a sweater
(On July 24th, 2010 at 7:39 pm)
With this being my first time at BlogHer I am super excited. I have felt honored to be invited to some of the brand parties – not because I wanted to show off at all – but because that meant (I hope) that these companies had an understanding that I have a voice and that it matters. I have several blogging friends who are sad to not have been invited to brand events and I’ve told them that the conference will still open lots of doors for them.
I am truly looking forward to meeting so many of the bloggers I only know online. I have developed friendships with these women (and a few guys too) and am excited to be able to hang out with them. There are a couple of the ROYO sessions that I am really looking forward to as well so I can learn more about certain subjects. That isn’t to say I’m not looking forward to meeting with companies either – I am, especially the ones that I already use in my everyday life. And hey, who doesn’t like free stuff? My family is working on a fundraiser for a local family in late August too, so if I end up with extra stuff we will be putting that in gift baskets we raffle for the family.
I love reading all the different styles of writing and blogging that everyone does. I would love to be able to do it even, but it just isn’t how my brain works. My blog is really about me the way I am in life and I love reading your blog, and other blogs, who write how they are too. I hope everyone stays true to themselves – that is what makes the best blogs.
PS – I’m bringing cute, but comfy shoes
(On July 25th, 2010 at 11:26 am)
This is the first time I’ve been to your blog + I have to say that it won’t be the last. Great sentiments.
(On July 26th, 2010 at 7:47 am)
This will be my first blogher and I am attending some of the public parties; blogluxe, sparklecorn, cheeseburgher and the people’s party.
I didn’t even KNOW there were private parties until a couple days ago.
Would it have been nice to be invited to at least one? Yes. But here’s the deal I don’t have ads on my blog, I don’t review products and I don’t do giveaways. I’m a humor blogger and a I cuss. People have contacted me about ads but I don’ know if I even WANT to go that route.
As a former event manager-I can’t believe how insane people are getting about stuff and the exhibit hall.
But I am open to any tips on how to have an awesome first blogher!
(On July 26th, 2010 at 12:08 pm)
I believe I am one of your room mates.
And I am a VOTY finalist too.
Some might say that TWC is a brand.
An proud to say I have not been invited to One single Party.
Not one. HAH!
My Geeky Nerdy status remains intact.
(On July 28th, 2010 at 6:24 pm)
Amen sister.
I’m going to try to bring you home in my bag and that’s about all.
(On July 29th, 2010 at 10:21 am)
[...] My Guide to BlogHer by @KBestOliver [...]
(On July 30th, 2010 at 11:29 am)
Thanks for posting this. As a newbie to the BlogHer scene I was definitely overwhelmed by all the crazy tweeting going on in the last few days. I want to go and have fun and connect with people and learn and I’m glad I’m not the only one.
(On August 6th, 2010 at 9:23 pm)
I’m with Jenn, I know I’m a stranger, but hai, may I lick you? (I’m sure we could get THAT kind of website some serious ad dollars…naughty licking moms! or, no, better MOMMIES.)
But I digress. Word. to YOU.