Totally Effed Friday

So I’m a procrastinator anyway, and I had allotted all day yesterday to crank out a paper that is due today. That’s how I do it. I got a system. Long story short, about 45 minutes after sitting down at a local coffee establishment to get cracking, my two-year-old MacBook freezes, and when I restart, I get the blinking file icon of death. I know what this means. I know that I’m fucked. I also know that I haven’t backed up in a while. SO GO BACK UP, KIDS.

→ continue reading

How to Refinish Your Hardwood Floors by KBO Part One

  1. Move all furniture out of rooms to be finished, preferably to your cramped basement. All couches must go on the front porch for purposes of authenticity.
  2. Remove all carpet and carpet pad, staples, and nails. Sweep up legions of dead human cells. Die a little.
  3. Attempt to set up bedroom and makeshift living room in basement. Briefly consider expanding wood panels to make basement sexier.
  4. Tape up plastic sheets that will inevitably be torn down by a puppy and peed on.
  5. Make even task swap with husband: he does all drum sanding and you do all shop vacuuming and reality television watching.
  6. Feel bad about trade so offer to plug all the holes and dents with wood putty. Lament all the dirty jokes you can’t think of because of the sweaty, stinky mask you’re wearing.
  7. Attempt to wrangle one not-completely-housetrained pup and one afraid-of-fireworks-so-refuses-to-go-outside old man pup in a rapidly-shrinking basement. Step in pee.
  8. Break some shit.
  9. Watch Real Housewives and read journal articles while husband returns, yet again, to Lowe’s. Briefly consider showering. Explain fake boobie ubiquity on Real Housewives to husband.

Upcoming: Part Two

Carded

When you go to a conference like BlogHer, bloggers usually have cards they exchange with their blog URL, e-mail, Twitter name, etc. Last year I got minicards from Moo, which I liked, but I didn’t have a logo or anything, I just used images from Moo. I really didn’t think too much about what I put on them.

I decided to get new cards for BlogHer because I’ve been writing at different places since I got my last ones. My ladyfriend and fellow Food Blog Mafia blogger Iron Stef is an awesome graphic designer. She created the logos for FBM and the Church of Burger, which you can see to your right in my sidebar. Stef created card designs for me, incorporating all the relevant information AND used an icon of my fist tattoo.  Check these out: → continue reading

Hey Pretty Ladies…

So, remember when meeting someone you met online was, like, kind of sketchy and possibly dangerous? And there was a distinct possibility that the person you were meeting would either be a teenaged LARPer or Chris Hansen? 

Life’s really not like that anymore, unless you’re the idiot STILL trying to pick up 16-year olds in chat rooms, in which case, you get what you deserve when you find out that 16-year old tartlet is really a paunchy cop. → continue reading

In The Doghouse

This dang pup is killing me.

→ continue reading

What I Wrote While I Was Trying to Pretend I Wasn’t On an Airplane

I’m writing this from high above the Midwest, on my way to Minneapolis to talk about Antonio Gramsci for two days while missing the U.S.’s second round World Cup game. Sorry, professor. I will either be streaming or keeping ESPN  open during the match. It’s the people’s game, man!

Speaking of the World Cup, check out my Draft Day Suit post on why you should be watching the World Cup. It’s been one hell of a tournament for the Yanks, and none of us fans mind if y’all hop on the bandwagon for the game against Ghana. Then check out today’s MamaPop post, where you can watch Woody Harrelson’s soccer skills in the Soccer Aid game. Also this week, I wrote about the Real World heading back to New Orleans, and you should read that, too.

The heat broke yesterday and only yesterday, and I was able to get out in our garden and do work I’ve been meaning to do alongside Chris, for whom the heat is not a deterrent. We’ve had a relative bumper crop of high-quality chamomile that while tedious to harvest, smells heavenly; thanks to Justin for the very prolific plant that will provide us with calming tea to go along with our mint. Tomatoes and tomatillos are on the vine, and we’ve been steadily eating lettuce, swiss chard, collards, and tatsoi for weeks. The garlic will be harvested Sunday or Monday. Our blackberries are slowly ripening and we’ve started to enjoy the first plump, juicy specimens.

We’ve got potatoes, onion, carrots, and beans all coming along splendidly, and even a few corn plans. The beans are starting to ripen a bit on the vine, and I can’t wait to photograph the different varieties. Peppers are slow; they’re my achilles heel as a gardener and I never have much success. We’re going to plant winter squash in the spaces opening up by the departing greens and a few other experiments, as well.

I’d carry on towards something more profound, but I have but a few hours to finish my class readings and grab something to eat before class. Don’t forget, support the U.S. tomorrow against Ghana.

Adding To Our Family

So we agreed to dog sit for our friends Christine and Joe. They have two chill, agreeable dogs named Sunny and Sid, and even though we have a tiny house, we thought three dogs and a cat for one week is not a big deal in the scheme of favors to do for your friends. Asher would enjoy the company of his pals.

On Friday night, after having Sid and Sunny for about not even one day, Chris said, “You know, it’s not so bad with three dogs in here. We should get another dog” to which I said, “True. No.” → continue reading

For My Next Trick…

When I started blogging, I did it with the intention of all my wildest dreams coming true.

And now it’s happened. Fame, fortune, and power are MINE! <muahhahaha>

Well, not really. But the folks over at MamaPop, a pop culture blog with a feminist slant that I’ve loved since it’s inception, for some reason want me to join their crew. Which, OMG, is totally like your big sister letting you smoke with her and her friends. Well, if I had a big sister, which I don’t, but it’s too late for me to harbor resentment about that. → continue reading

Four Things That Suck About the World Cup

I really, really love the World Cup. Of course, I love soccer. Duh. I love that it gets showcased on a global level, I love the excitement and fervor surrounding it. I love picking teams to cheer for. I love the spectacle. I love the fans and, critics be damned, I even love the vuvuzelas. I love being in a bar surrounded by people cheering for the United States. I love going to bars in the middle of the day. Wait, I mean, I love going to bars in the middle of the day when lots of people are doing the same. Most of all, I love soccer on the television for eight hours a day a for a few weeks. It’s like March Madness for the rest of the world.

But, damn it, every four years, the World Cup’s emergence onto the American cultural radar means I get annoyed by the following things: → continue reading

On the Road Again

I’ve been off the grid, taking a much-needed road trip down South. Chris’s sister moved to Florida, so we drove the U-Haul down to Orlando, then rented a car and spent some time on the coast. It was wonderful and I’m still mentally recovering and trying to catch up in St Louis. Check out a few cool things we saw during our trip.

→ continue reading