There are fewer things better for the mind and soul than having high hopes that people you admire will like you back should you meet them and those hopes coming true. I think many of us still hold on to feelings of rejection from middle school or high school, and those can resurface at events like BlogHer. And when people aren’t snobs, and instead embrace you willingly, with arms oustretched, and shower you with positive thoughts, well, it’s nice. It’s better than nice. It’s fan-fucking-tastic. I finally met so many awesome, amazing people I’ve been sharing my life with online, and they were smarter, and funnier, and more intelligent and fun than I thought possible. And when I met these people, they gave me giant, genuine, real hugs. The level of positivity and emotional generosity is unlike anything I’ve experienced.

The highlights:

• Our MamaPop writers’ party was a low-key, burrito-booze-and-karaoke-fueled lovefest. These people are witty, smart, creative, foul-mouthed, and snarky, and I feel so lucky that they welcomed me into their island of misfit bloggers. I gladly spent a lot of my time with these people during the conference, and they are now like family to me. I mean, I really can’t say enough awesome things about everyone.
• The lovely and talented Melissa Locker, she of many pseudonyms and longtime Television Without Pity writer (as well as part of the MamaPop posse) let me pick her brain about recapping as aforementioned party. I’ve been reading TWoP since the NINETIES, people, since it was Mighty Big TV and I found it because I needed Dawson’s Creek recaps. That’s longevity. In terms of writing about television, it’s like getting to talk sports with Bill Simmons.
• The Community Keynote, where I listened to ridiculously- talented bloggers read the best posts of the year in a celebration of the craft of writing. Anyone who says bloggers aren’t real writers has obviously never read these (mostly) women, and I highly recommend you take a look at their posts. I also thoroughly enjoyed several sessions I went to, namely the humor writing panel, the creativity writing panel, the sex (rawr!) panel, and my dear friend Goon Squad Sarah‘s women and sports panel. I was so glad that BlogHer decided to have a full-on writing track this year; it can be frustrating when the majority of sessions feel like they’re either exclusively for mommybloggers or geared towards “monitization”. Those are fine, but blogging is about writing. It shouldn’t be a question as to whether or not there are writing sessions, and I think the number of audience members in attendance speaks volumes. I hope BlogHer makes it a permanent fixture.
• I ate an impromptu Korean dinner with the flat-out incredible Chookooloonks, Knotty Yarn, and Mocha Momma, all of whom are some of the most intelligent, gracious, talented ladies, yet so down-to-earth and hilarious. With them, I experienced some of the most stimulating conversation I’ve had in a while, despite pretty much being agog the whole time at their fabulosity.

• SPARKLE-FUCKING-CORN. A ballroom full of pop culture posters, life-sized cutouts, glow necklaces, PopRocks, 80′s dance music, a disco ball, the above cake made by Charm City Cakes (yes, from Ace of Cakes, MP has Baltimore in the hizzy), and the best damn dance party you’ve ever been to. I’ll let you in on a secret: 45 minutes before the party was scheduled to start, the ballroom was still set up with tables and chairs from earlier events. The Hilton staff busted their asses to get tables, chairs, and a dance floor set up (there was a crane!) while MamaPoppers furiously decorated. It was madness and chaos for those 45 minutes, but it came together just in time to grab a drink before the doors opened and the fun began. Ah, teamwork. It was exhilarating to see hundreds of women cutting loose in uninhibited joy and, for me, indicative of the very best of BlogHer. No swagwhoring, no cattiness, no self-consciousness, just a pure celebration of community.
• Post-party, we grabbed some burgers from the CheeseburgHer party and headed to the hotel bar, which we closed down, finally leaving as we realized the last employee was vacuuming around us. It was a sheer lovefest not unlike the last day of summer camp. I just didn’t want it to end. I’m now pretty sold on moving to Saskatchewan so I can start a polyamorous commune with Schmutzie (who took the above cakery photo) and Palinode when the US inevitably ruins itself. Chris doesn’t realize he’s got a ready and waiting brother husband in Regina (which rhymes with vagina, if you were unaware).

Also of note:

• I absolutely could not believe how smoothly the conference ran. We’re talking about 2400 attendees, plus sponsors, and the worst problem was the crowded elevators. Every single Hilton employee I encountered was friendly and helpful, and a few went out of their way to help. The BlogHer staff really streamlined the event compared to last year; the improvements were noticeable and appreciated.
• My roommates were lovely and so low-key and drama-free. I’d room with them again in a heartbeat.

• Here’s the beautiful piece of art James Bengel created inspired by my Her Story post. It will be auctioned off soon with the proceeds going to aid in Gulf relief.

I know there’s more; I hung out with so many damned cool people I couldn‘t possibly name them all. But let me say this: if you’ve ever thought about going to BlogHer and didn’t because you were intimidated by the size, or didn’t want to be pigeonholed as a mommyblogger, or hated the thought of all the crazy people competing over who got the best free stuff (oh, trust me, there was plenty of that, but I just avoided it), or are just a shy person who thinks you have no business hobnobbing with the likes of The Pioneer Woman, I urge you to let that all go. You can avoid all of those things and get down to the really valuable stuff, which is becoming part of an empowering, positive, supportive community of writers who will embrace you for exactly who you are. If I told you the traffic stats for my blog, you would laugh at the thought that some of the abovementioned people would be in the same room as me. I’m totally Z-List. Well, maybe W-List, now, but NO ONE WORTH A DAMN CARES, and those that do, well, they can go eat a bowlful of unicorn horns.

San Diego, baby. Same time, next year.

Dear Baby Jesus, the interwebs blew up this week with BlogHer hubbub. It was like the announcement of the Voices of the Year was some kind of signal for everyone to start freaking out about the conference all at once.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m stoked. I’m pumped. I can’t wait.

Great things happen at BlogHer. At its heart, the BlogHer conference is about celebrating the writing of women and the community that surrounds those women. And that’s why I go. I have always been a writer and I will always be a writer; it’s something I do for myself because I love it. The internet allows women writers from all over the world to engage with and support each other. It’s a little like college: no matter who you were in high school, you can find your niche. You just have to look hard enough. And I’ve been fortunate enough to make several real life friends across many niches from my experiences blogging.

However, not everyone goes to BlogHer for the same reasons. For many women, blogging is a business, and a business in which they’ve done well. There’s even a whole separate part of BlogHer specifically about business and blogging. And BlogHer could not happen without sponsorship of various brands and businesses; they keep costs low for us ladybums.  But sometimes the commercial aspect gets downright ugly.

My biggest issue this week was when private party invites started going out. At BlogHer, there are several parties hosted by BlogHer or sanctioned by BlogHer. These are all open-invites; anyone can RSVP. Sparklecorn, MamaPop’s party (and the bestest party, duh, unicorn cake) is one of those parties. There are also private parties, sponsored by groups of bloggers or brands, that are held offsite. These parties are generally invite-only.  Many sponsored parties offer free stuff, often really great free stuff. Hence, people think they can act like raving lunatics to get into invite-only parties. Then maybe elbow a baby to make sure they don’t get a free pair of Crocs.

Listen, last year I didn’t go to a single private party. At all. And I came home with a lot of free stuff and had such a blast with my friends. I’m not going to lie and act like I didn’t get invites to private parties this year; I did, mostly because of my work with MamaPop. And I’ll go to the ones that my friends will be going to. But, truth be told, I didn’t get a single private invite until this week and I’d still be just as excited about BlogHer if that were still the case. There are so many events open to everyone, and there’s so much going on, that there’s no way anyone couldn’t jam-pack their weekend full of fun without every setting foot in a private party.

But here’s the thing: Twitter was going nuts in the past two days with women begging, literally BEGGING, to be invited to parties. Pure, shameless begging. Many women who got invites immediately bragged about it on Twitter using every hashtag they possibly could to let the world know how important they are.And it drove me insane. Because people are more concerned with how cool they look or what free shit they might miss out on that they miss the point of the entire conference: to talk about and learn more about blogging and  connect with other bloggers. I don’t even think I can go to everything because so many parties are at the same time. I’m not going to spend the limited time I have with friends from other places trying to party hop so that I don’t miss out on the bestest, shiniest swag. To do so is utterly missing the point of the entire conference.

I get that SO many women view their blog as their “brand” and their brand as their business. And that networking opportunities are important for business. But damn, ladies. Don’t you know that begging isn’t how you do business? Begging is NOT PROFESSIONAL. These sponsors invite people to parties because it’s business for them, too. And if you are a niche blogger outside their niche, why would they invite you? Where’s the return on investment? The women that are ravenous for free shit will write anything for free, and they fuck up the business side for people who, you know, actually sell their content FOR MONEY, not a free jump drive and a badge for their blog.

I’m sure I’ll see some people without home training acting foolish to get a Bounce dryer bar or some branded panties. And it will annoy me. Because those women should probably get out of scamming in the expo hall and start attending sessions on the craft of writing. I know that maybe if I softened my edge and quit cursing so much and talking about vaginas and dog farts that maybe I’d be more marketable to advertisers or however people make money off blogs. But that’s not me, or my voice, or my intent. And if it is yours, that’s fine, too! There’s nothing wrong with monetizing. But to think that you are owed monetization, or some sponsor owes you ad money, or swag, or special swag, or SERIOUSLY not very special swag, just because you figured out how to use WordPress, well, that’s just plain wrong. I love free stuff. I love free samples. And I love free booze. But I can have some business acumen, or, at the very least, some basic manners when it comes to how I conduct myself at conferences like BlogHer.

Focus on the content. Focus on the community. Focus on creating genuine relationships, and the rest will follow, and if it doesn’t, you still win. The means are still just as good, if not better, than the ends.

Also, wear comfortable shoes.

While I wasn’t one of the final three in my category, I was one of the 20 finalists out of 400 submissions in this category for my post I wrote for my grandma after she died this past winter. That post,  Her Story, will be displayed at the Voices of the Year Gala and Art Auction this year at BlogHer ’10 in New York City. While my grandma wouldn’t have even known what a blog was (although my other grandma is an avid reader–hi Grandma!), I hope she would feel proud of me and honored by the post.

Happily, several amazing women I’ve met through blogging are also represented on this list, including my two roommates in New York, Kansas City bloggers Celeste Lindell and Kelli Oliver George (yes, I know it’s weird how similar our names are), two amazing women I admire whom I’m also fortunate enough to know, Kelly Wickham at Mocha Momma, and Tracey Gaughran of Sweetney, also my overlord at MamaPop. In addition (because we’re rollin’ that way) two other MamaPoppers, Amy Storch at Amalah and Amy Windsor of The Bitchin’ Wives were finalists, and Amy Windsor will be reading at the Community Keynote. AND Bill Colgrove, who designed the MamaPop site, was a finalist in Design. GAH! THE AWESOME, I CANNOT STAND IT! So many of these women are people I’ve admired for so long and to see my writing next to theirs is both gratifying and humbling.

Please do yourself a favor and go check out some of the fantastic posts represented here.

I decided to get new cards for BlogHer because I’ve been writing at different places since I got my last ones. My ladyfriend and fellow Food Blog Mafia blogger Iron Stef is an awesome graphic designer. She created the logos for FBM and the Church of Burger, which you can see to your right in my sidebar. Stef created card designs for me, incorporating all the relevant information AND used an icon of my fist tattoo.  Check these out:

This is the front.

This is the back.

I think these are absolutely perfect for me and my style. Do I have a style? My style is t-shirts and flip flops. But if I had a real style, THIS WOULD TOTALLY BE IT. I can’t wait to give them out at our pre-BlogHer meetup and in New York.

Thanks to Stef, who rules pretty hard when it comes to helping a friend out. If you are interested in hiring her for a graphic design project, let me know and I’ll get you in touch with her.

Life’s really not like that anymore, unless you’re the idiot STILL trying to pick up 16-year olds in chat rooms, in which case, you get what you deserve when you find out that 16-year old tartlet is really a paunchy cop.

Today I saw a commercial for Match.com that said that 1 in 5 couples meet online. Chris asked if I thought that was true, and I do. There’s not the stigma attached to online relationships (dating or otherwise) that there used to be. While Chris and I met the good old-fashioned way (drunk at a friend’s party), I have many, many friends I met via the internet that I regularly hang out with in real life, like most of my food friends. I also have many, many friends whom I have never hung out with in real life, but have epic plans to do so at BlogHer, an annual blogging conference I’ll be attending in August for the second year in a row.

Last year, BlogHer was in Chicago, and I hosted a pre-conference meetup for those in the area who were going so everyone would have a friendly face to turn to at the conference. This year, I’m doing the same. This ain’t nothin’ fancy. Basically, I just named a day and time (Saturday, July 24th at 3PM) and a place (Schlafly Bottleworks) and made an Eventbrite invite. It’s a chance to meet other St Louis ladybloggers whether you are going to BlogHer this year or not.

This will be a casual, friendly, welcoming cocktail hour(s). There will be nametags that you are not obligated to wear. If you’ve never gone to any type of meetup of online acquaintances, this is the perfect event for you because we don’t bite unless you are into that sort of thing, in which case, THINGS CAN BE ARRANGED, if you know what I mean.

Plus, Bottleworks has one of those Dyson hand dryers in the bathroom, the ones that ACTUALLY DRY YOUR HANDS!  It’s been there for a few years and I still get a kick out of it.

You don’t have to RSVP, but please do if you know you are coming so we both can get a sense of who will be there. You know you want to Google stalk first.

ANYWAY, I hope to see you there, then at Art of Food, an event for Slow Food St Louis, later that night

And now it’s happened. Fame, fortune, and power are MINE! <muahhahaha>

Well, not really. But the folks over at MamaPop, a pop culture blog with a feminist slant that I’ve loved since it’s inception, for some reason want me to join their crew. Which, OMG, is totally like your big sister letting you smoke with her and her friends. Well, if I had a big sister, which I don’t, but it’s too late for me to harbor resentment about that.

I’ll be posting over there on a variety of pop culture-related topics every Wednesday and Friday, starting today with my post on yet another Hollywood remake in the works. MamaPop has some of the best television recaps and pop culture commentary on the interwebs, and I’m honored that they’d let me snark and shake fists with them. I mean, they’re the ones that threw the bitchin’ party with a unicorn cake.

I really admire what Tracey and Amy have done with the site and for the women’s blogging community. Last year at BlogHer, I listened to their panel on feminism and pop culture blogging and was just in awe of their big sexy brains. So please, come over and check out the site. It’s really pop culture at it’s snarkiest and almost all of the commenters have great spelling and grammar skills. Win. The lovely Laurie of LaurieWrites and overlord at Draft Day Suit, lobbied hard for my inclusion, and for that I thank her. This all but ensures I’ll be dancing like Elaine at the Sparklecorn party at BlogHer this year in New York.

It’s like a full body dry heave set to music.

This is why DonorsChoose.org is such an awesome organization.  Teachers can request supplies they need for their classrooms and individuals looking to contribute financially to our schools can log on and find a project that speaks to them.  You can donate any dollar amount to a project, and many are also sponsored by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, who will match your contribution.

BlogHer is participating in DonorsChoose.org’s Social Media Challenge, and they asked me to pick three projects in the St Louis area that we could donate to as part of the challenge.  I picked these particular projects for a few reasons.  The first, for classroom sets of Lois Lowry’s Number the Stars and Walter Dean Meyer’s Monster, because not only do I love both of those books, but they are the types of books that kids LOVE.  Monster is book that hooks reluctant readers, kids who NEVER read for fun, and to be able to get that book into a classroom’s hands is something I want to get behind.  I also picked a project for a civics class for gifted kids, because they get the shaft all the time, even though they are considered a special needs group.  Any parent of a gifted child knows how hard they have to advocate for their child just like other special needs groups, but often with less recourse or support available to them.  The final project I picked involves supplies like folders, flash drives, and binders that a teacher needs to help her students gain organizational skills.

The total needed to fund these projects is around $1500.  We can EASILY do that, y’all.  Come on, STL folks.  Donate to one of these great projects.  All you have to do is click on any of the projects above.  If you are not here in STL, you can search DonorsChoose for projects in your own area.  There are so many to choose from. Consider it your good deed for the day.  If you yourself are a blogger or are on Twitter or Facebook, please help me spread the word.