Get Off My Lawn, Youngsters
I made a return to Kirksville for our annual Truman Soccer alumni weekend. During this weekend, former players and hanger-ons get together, scrimmage the current varsity team, drink beer, and make fun of how old we are. It is always a good time.
This year we had a record turnout of almost 50 women alums. We also had SIX All-Americans back in town. These two things combine to mean two important things: one, the old ladies won the game for the first time since ’05; two, there were so many damn young ‘uns and all-out ballers that I felt no need to even step foot on the field. I deemed myself Chief Shit Talker and Unflattering Photographer and parked my expanded-since-’01 ass on the bench with my old teammates, some of which I hadn’t seen in years and years. Apparently the cool thing to do is to continue to work out and play soccer after you graduate, even nine years after the end of your career. I vow as soon as I turn 30 and can be in masters’ leagues, I will embark on a second career the likes of which has never been seen in former Iowan/Div II players who insist on only playing half-field. But seriously, some ladies had babies and were looking fierce on the pitch. I will say, however, that my shit-talking hasn’t really lost its game. Sorry, current squad, but you just lost to people with 401ks and visible panty lines. Better step up the off-season training. → continue reading
